Thursday, October 22, 2009

40 just around the bend

Just around the corner, past the holiday season, I will officially be 40. I have been looking forward to this day for the past 3 years. Why? Let me tell you. As I stated before, (I am a planner) I've been reading a magazine made for women over 40 for the last 3 years! I have been inspired by the new 40, 50 and 60 year young women. I also have to mention, I do like the fashion sense for the women over 40. There are women who are just starting to have children and many with their children all grown up. (Just as I want to have another one in a couple of  years, I will have two "grown up" by then.) The women featured in this magazine have found a new chapter in their lives and are developing new talents and defining themselves both as mothers and as workers. Many of the women have faced many challenges and are good role models. The number one reason I like this magazine so much is the wisdom these women have gained and the willingness to share it with us. I wish I could interview some women I know and ask them about their life lessons in each decade of their life.

 I wanted to share a few things I've learned in the past two decades that have made the most impact on me and my family. I would love to hear yours.

I know that I didn't really know what I wanted in my 20's. I lived my life with what came at me and not what I went out of my way to make. I also cared way too much about what people thought of me. Such as, I would never, ever, ever, leave the house without being completely dressed up and I would always keep my house immaculate just in case someone came by, even if it meant missing out on having fun with my kids. I learned that people only came by when I was "living" instead of  "role playing".  In other words, company arrived when my house was a mess, because I was cooking or playing with my kids and the only time they came by when  it was clean, was when I planned on having them there and life can't always be planned.

After a divorce, I learned about forgiveness and the atonement. Which I could go into great detail, but won't right now, I will leave that for another time and place, but it was important and I had to mention it.

I learned that people evolve, and just as I can not change over night, even if I really want. It is not my place to expect someone to change. The expectation from our Savior is to love others no matter what. Loving them helps them through their journey. Letting go of control, for instance when someone is not doing what you want them to do, or not going about it, the way you would want them too, I can not judge, I must love. Meaning a greater love is developed. I learned that people only change when they feel they aren't being judged or threatened. You can't expect someone to be where you are, spiritually, physically or mentally and if you try to force it, it just slows them down. They are entitled to their agency and once they feel they own it they will naturally make different choices.

I also learned to be grateful for everything and express my appreciation verbally whenever possible.
Here is an example; when my Mister D does the dishes, I am beaming with joy even into the next morning when I call him at work and say thank you again, for making my life a little easier.
Praise to the man, and you will be a happy woman!

In my 30's I started living by creating moments.I discovered that it was more important to celebrate all the little things with my kids as if they were big things and what we thought were big things were actually little. For instance, getting a good grade on a paper or loosing a tooth was fanfare, a party waiting to happen. Or sometimes just because little G would suggest a purple party or potato chip party or pajama party, we would have one. Then the big things most of us think of, such as all the focus on Christmas presents, became little things to us. One year I decided we would celebrate Christ and have a manger and a palm tree instead of a pine tree with decorations. This made a lasting impression and we now always have a "baby jesus"  in a manger and many little mangers, around that are touchable. Also, just as Jesus received one very special gift from each of the wise men, we too would give ONE gift to each of our children. This made it more thoughtful from us and meaningful for them. Of course we have some traditions, such as little goodies in their stocking and a favorite movie along with a boxed "sugar" cereal from Santa Claus for fun.

Giving became a focus in my 30's. We took in 3 brothers making us a family of 9. (oh, how I miss those days.) My children learned valuable lessons on what was a need and what was a want. I would see how far we could stretch our money so we could buy some necessities for the "brothers". I learned how to cook great meals very cheap. I came up with 5 - ten dollar meals that fed 9 people. We learned that what we give is more than what they have. This is also when I stopped worrying about what other people thought about me, and started thinking about what other people needed.

What will the 40's bring? I don't know....maybe a baby, though?

Monday, October 19, 2009

Making Happy Feet

Mister D's happy feet

 I went to my parents' house on Sunday, mainly to celebrate my mom's birthday.
My Dad asked if Little G would sing and I just happened to have a CD in my purse.
 We put the CD in and she began to sing.
However, because she was sooooo cute, someone laughed and that embarrassed her, she ran away and started to cry. I coaxed her back to the room but she was still sulking.My Mister D came in, with the music still in the background, he said, "What's the matter? Don't you want to dance"? While saying this he was doing a very slow motion butter churn dance, and then various other dance techniques with very slow motion, or let's say low emotion. I walked up next to him and started dancing too. She started laughing and my Biggest Little was cracking up, as you don't very often see Mister D dancing. My dad thought it was too cute and ran to get his camera, but when he returned Mister D's dancing days were over. Needless to say, No pictures. Bummer. Anyhow, his attempt to make his littlest happy worked and soon she was on the dance floor again. (I loved this about my Mister D.)  He quietly sat down on the stairs and watched as the dancing continued.
A little while later he asked Little J if he had his dancing shoes on, as he has feet of lightening! 
No way, too embarrassed....but wait soon enough Mister D had made Little J's  insecurities go away too. Soon enough Little J was dancing like lightening. We had a contest to see who could dance the fastest and came up with the Happy Feet Contest. Each person took a turn,  Grandpa J, Grandmacita, even my Biggest Little. When it came to Mister D's turn he said,
"I already danced, remember I was the one who got this party started".
 That's right! Once again I remember the most endearing quality my Mister D has to make everyone happy.
 As I know, it definitely wasn't what Mister D had planned for his night of entertainment, but he patiently spent the next hour, watching everyone dance, sing and make fools of themselves, especially me.
He sat there quite content watching me "Nerd it up" as he calls it. I tried to get him to sing a duet and he was having none of it. I love playing around with him. We were all having fun.
I was in heaven. So was everyone else in that room.
I think we forgot anything and everything that was going on in our lives
for about an hour and a half and were just caught up in the moment.
I responded to an email that my mom sent  to me the next morning regarding how fun it was to have us over.

I loved being at your house yesterday, but I have to say that a lot of it had to do with the fact Mister D was there. I am a happier person when he is around, (because I am not worried about him or thinking about how he is working while I am playing.)
Although, as he says "I Nerd things up" with my silliness, I know he appreciates it. Why? My kids wouldn't have so much fun without some silliness. Someone has to be OK with making a fool of themselves occasionally, that way others know it's OK when they do it! (Right?) I get a lot of joy from music and dancing. I share this with my Littles, sometimes we get a little crazy.

 Little G loves to dance and sing.... this would not be the case if there were no dancing and singing at home. There is always music and dancing at this house. Little J loves it too. When he was, little we would dance and sing like crazy while his older sisters were at school. We have quite a collection of  family videos; Little J and I dancing... priceless! We would watch  Gene Kelly & Fred Astaire. (There is an especially great one on YouTube,  dancing with trash can lids, ) And of course, Big Little, the dancer turned cheerleader by no accident. (I was a performer in high school too, you know.) Next comes my Biggest Little who also danced at home, especially to Wee Sing, which we did for years. She was the first of my Littles and therefore will always be the Biggest Little! I will officially  now, refer to her as my Biggest Little. When she is home with me this weekend we find a way to let loose and dance!

 I like to think this is just one way I can show love for my children.
 I can play with them and be silly, like a kid for a little while, dancing, singing
and making Happy Feet!!
(This is at my parents house)

right after G's video, my memory card was full. :(
I did a little happy feet dance and then felt dizzy!
Little J has the fastest feet!

The awards were........

Little J with the most Joyful Feet
Little G with the most Graceful Feet!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Catch Phrases

My Kitty -

I fondly refer to my computer as "my kitty", inspired by Anne Frank and her diary entries to, Dear Kitty.

"gosh golly goob"....."oh my, oh my"....are some of the quirky little terms I didn't realize I use but are pointed out to me.

"goober" is a peanut. As a child, my Uncle would kindly refer to me as a goober.

Gives of sugar-
Giving lovies, like huggies and kisses from your littles or sharing tender thoughts.

Friend Beings-
Imaginary friends of course.

Let's not forget the Fairies:
paper hole fairies: scattered around, they are watching your good deeds.

Glitter fairies: you are so lucky if you happen to get a speck of glitter on you, for it means you are turning into a princess. :)

Bird fairies: little birds flying around that you can hear your wishes and sometimes deliver. :) wink wink.

Mlizzing: Laughing and whizzing at the same time. (come on, It happens.)

Foot Joyo:
Mister D and I have this secret code. This is one of the phrases I'll share, it describes the best day ever! 
(Funny, Just now, that I am typing this, I see that it could have something to do with shoes! but that is not the case. It came from.being used while texting the words....Don't Know and it the text pre-determined Foot stuck and we use it as a happy adjective.

Sleepy seeds:
the little beaded mucus you get in the sides of your eyes.

more sillyisms too come.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Dedicated to my sister in High Heels......

Granny socks and Flats you be the judge.

Ok, so here are the granny socks. Here are the granny socks on my feet.

Now, see them with shoes. What do you think??

This is dedicated to my sister in High Heels.

I need to be sensible. I no longer wear suits or coordinates, and my new job title is “Parent Helper” or “Room Mom.” It is time to get casual. I decided to buy flats! I don't wear flats and I only wear athletic shoes when doing athletics, which is nearly never. I am not quite petite, 5ft 4 and a half (thank you very much)! I can't wear short or ankle labeled pants because they are too short and the next option is regular, which is about 3 inches too long. Heels have become the solution to this problem. Now I am embarking on new territory. FLATS! Which by the way, do not shape your legs as nicely and I can't help feeling a little frumpy in them. Nevertheless, it is time for sensibility and not flattery.
Off and running in search for the perfect, unique pair.
I found that this is not an easy task for me. I tried on so many, blue, red, yellow, brown, and black, some with bows, some with jewelry some with prints. I felt nothing prompting me to buy. They were all so plain. Then, I found these, sort of tweed, woven pair. They were comfortable. They were different; they could go with many things. I thought I could dress them up or down. Not the same feeling as the scrumptious lavender heels I just bought in Monterey, but so far they were the best, and I was on a deadline. I needed flats! Helping out in a kindergarten class with heels on seemed a little funny, and there was a field trip to the pumpkin patch coming soon. I finally decided to purchase the little flats and wore them around the house first to make sure they were comfortable and could take them back if not. They were comfortable but... Hmm...I needed some socks! Well maybe not socks, they would be too bulky. I needed knee high trouser socks, like nylons. Oh boy, I haven't worn nylons since the early 90's! Full on nylons were not going to happen! I went to the store in search of some unique (once again) trouser socks, or knee-highs.
Oh my, Oh my, (golly gosh goob). No way! Then I saw some "Hue's,” little foot socks like I see granny types wearing only these were leopard print. Ok, I think I will try that. Purchased them, put them on. Comfy! Not too bad, you can see the edge of them peeking through the sides of the shoes. I showed a friend. She thought it looked cute and definitely better than the shade of suntan they usually sell. Therefore, I wore those two days in a row and then I called my fashoinista, High Heeled sister and told her of this new finding. She was silent, than laughed and through her frothy laughter said "Oh, dear. I do not think I can be the one to help you get through this transition. Nope, not gonna happen and you must send me a picture."
(Oh my gosh...golly goob!)
So then, I told my friend who told me that they were cute and she told me to write about this and send a picture out to get votes. Thumbs up or Thumbs down?