I have something to share. I am excited, as you all well know...it has been awhile since I have been excited to the point of giddiness. Picture yourself twirling around, wind blowing in your hair, grinning from ear to ear. Sweetness! Now sit down and wait for your head to stop spinning. Oh, how the spinning can unwind you. Breathe. Smile and relax.
That is it!
That's the feeling I get when I write.
So, here is my news. I mailed my first personal essay last Thursday to the California Writer's Club for review. I won't find anything out until June, but I feel optimistic! It is quite nerve racking to put yourself out there for scrutiny. I don't like being vulnerable, and I don't know many who do, but I needed to do this. The push was so strong; I could not stop myself if I wanted. I haven't shared too much with too many, but the journey I have been on, has made this seem natural.
I was listening to Dr. Laura (a radio show) the week before I finished my submission. She said that we are all afraid of something. When we see someone who seems to have it all together, he/she too, is scared of something. This is natural, normal, and very necessary. So, I say embrace the fear! Figure it out! Are you really going to die from it, and if so, wouldn't you want to do something about it even more! Fears are challenges, waiting to be confronted. Also, don't think you can sit back in a lazy chair afterwards, because one fear conquered means another fear is waiting for you. However, the good thing is that each "conquer" you are stronger, and soon you don't see them as fears, just annoying little pests in which you pick up the fly swatter and swat!
Therefore, although I feel good right now knowing that I faced a fear... I am now ready for the next fear. Let me first say "Ne ner Ne ner Ne ner, I mailed it. I mailed it"! Yeah, I took the first step, submitted a piece of work for review by a panel of authors and agents. The next step is to continue editing my novel from National Novel Writing Month... and researching while I wait for feedback.
Before I get too puffed up, I must admit that I didn't face my fears alone.
I had my Savior by my side
and the loving blessing of Brother Holland. That is another story, which I may share later.
I must, must say I can't do anything without saying many prayers.
I also need to give credit to a few close friends for encouraging me, for without their support, I am sure I would have not found the courage to venture forward.
A big Thank you to “KK”, for the fun night at Border's Books editing, and to “MV” for listening to my final draft the night before I mailed it. I then later shared it with HK and RA whom gave me great support.