Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Not just a road trip but a journey - dedicated to my Biggest Little

A road trip to take my daughter to Long Beach, CA for college.
This was not just a trip, but a journey.
She is in the drivers seat, which is represents a lot of things.
Such as, the most obvious...
The driver seat of her own life! I am the passenger, but not in the back seat. Instead I sit beside her.
I trust her driving as much as I trust her ability to make good decisions elsewhere.
She is cautious and courteous in both her driving and dealings with mankind.
When traffic was jammed and a little hectic, I did voice my opinion,
mainly with my gestures...by grabbing the handle above my head.

At one time I told her I was not use to her car and how it slows down, speeds up, the movement of the clutch, the length/distance needed from her car to the next. She gently put her hand on my thigh and told me it was going to be OK. My child, now an adult is consoling me so sweetly, and then she tells me she realizes that people who don't drive her car...start over... she states; most people are used to driving their own car and that if it had been anyone else driving with her, she was sure they would have the same fears. She tells me that she is well aware of her circumstance; 
the car and surroundings and that she is fine, trying to put me at ease  and it works.
This reminds me of how in her life, she may do somethings that I don't understand her judgement or might be fearful of the direction she takes, and I need to remind myself that she knows what and why she is making that choice. (This is part of the letting go of the apron strings.)
Later, in much heavier and hectic traffic she was having reservations about getting into the next lane and asked if it was clear. I helped her by looking out my window-
putting my arm out after making eye contact with the driver in the next lane to let us merge over.
(Like a mother duck looking out for her ducklings...such a mom, I am.)
I hope and I am pretty sure I know that just like this situation, she will call and ask me if it is OK to
"change lanes" and I will look around and help guide her the best I can to get over, because a little change is a good thing and because we all need a little help sometime.
This is just the first part of our journey, as we still have more travels ahead and
I am privileged to be the passenger in my daughters life.

Post Script
I managed to get through the weekend with only a few tears at the airport,
 and texting goodbye and I love yous until the flight was ready for take off.