Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Essay contest entry....Motherhood is...

Entry for NieNie March 27, 2012

Motherhoodisessay@gmail.com



Motherhood is 21 to almost here,

 Let me share…



My two beautiful daughters are attending college, one (21), almost done and one (18), just starting.  I am still mothering them but it is as plain as the nose on your face that they are “mothering” me too.  What I do and say is judged and compared to what they would do and say.  This is very humbling and I often need to acknowledge that my way isn’t the only way and embrace their decisions.  On the other hand, they have expressed their thankfulness for all that I have “made” them do and have done for them in their youth.  This is a great reward but the gratitude I feel as they continue to confide in me is so much more fulfilling.

My son (12) always wants to be helpful.  Following the example of his father, he takes out the trash with out being asked and offers to do the dirty work, like cat boxes and such.  Lately, he walks next to me as I cross the street with his hand on my back because I walk very slowly.  He still lets me hug and kiss him goodbye as I drop him off at school.  All these things are in response to the admiration I show his father.  I show my son how much I love, adore and respect his father and he wants the same.  I hope that the same love will emerge when he meets the girl of his dreams.

My sweet little daughter, (8) wants more than anything to be a big sister.  With each new cousin or friends’ new sibling, there has been a request.  I know this feeling comes from my own, but I did not realize that it was teaching her the desire for children and family.

  One day not too long ago I told her that we would be having another baby, (almost here).  She, who usually asks why I am crying at a TV commercial or a Christmas card, is now crying herself.  She understands, but has other questions.

 We lay next to each other in bed day after day.

“There is more room in all our hearts?”  “Yes, there is.”

 “Where did she come from?”  “Heaven.”

 “How did she get there?”  “By the love of your mommy and daddy.”

 “How big is she now?”  I explain the miraculous growth.

  “She has toenails” or “3 ½ lbs and 15 inches.”

  “When will she be here?”  “Almost here.”

 

 My Motherhood is …having four children and still wanting more.  When the thought that I might not have another child brought me to tears because the longing I had in my heart, to have and to hold, and to build upon my family, knowing what sweetness and blessings come from another being that joins you and yours would not cease,  I couldn’t imagine giving up.


Friday, March 2, 2012

A journal for my new littlest of my "Littles"

It's funny, I have a "oodles" of down time right now...lying around trying to stay off my feet ...truly barefoot and pregnant, yet I haven't been on either of my blogs. I did however start writing in a little journal for my new little one to be.

I wanted to write in my hand, to tell this new little one of the adventures of love and life and motherhood. I found myself having much to say to this, new littlest of my "littles".

I told her that I love her Daddy, madly!
 How badly we wanted to have another little one.
How different it is being an older mother.
Some of the not so fun things about being pregnant.
I hope that someday she will be a mom.
How wonderful being a mom is going to be.
The sweet things her siblings say about their anticipation.
Waiting for her to come.
Nicknames her daddy gives her as she dances around, inside my belly.
Names we are thinking of, and what others are saying about it.
The fact that she only has one brother, but he is going to be the best big brother ever.

I am not sure if any of these thoughts interest others but I thought I might type some of the entries in my "kitty" for safe keeping and may post them here.

I have about 13 weeks left. 
The crib is now up and most of the things needed for the baby are in place. 
 I am still amazed that soon our home will be filled with the sweet sound of a baby, even if it is crying.