Entry for NieNie
March 27, 2012
Motherhood is 21 to almost here,
Let me share…
My two beautiful daughters are attending college, one (21), almost done and one (18), just starting. I am still mothering them but it is as plain as the nose on your face that they are “mothering” me too. What I do and say is judged and compared to what they would do and say. This is very humbling and I often need to acknowledge that my way isn’t the only way and embrace their decisions. On the other hand, they have expressed their thankfulness for all that I have “made” them do and have done for them in their youth. This is a great reward but the gratitude I feel as they continue to confide in me is so much more fulfilling.
My son (12) always wants to be helpful. Following the example of his father, he takes out the trash with out being asked and offers to do the dirty work, like cat boxes and such. Lately, he walks next to me as I cross the street with his hand on my back because I walk very slowly. He still lets me hug and kiss him goodbye as I drop him off at school. All these things are in response to the admiration I show his father. I show my son how much I love, adore and respect his father and he wants the same. I hope that the same love will emerge when he meets the girl of his dreams.
My sweet little daughter, (8) wants more than anything to be a big sister. With each new cousin or friends’ new sibling, there has been a request. I know this feeling comes from my own, but I did not realize that it was teaching her the desire for children and family.
One day not too long ago I told her that we would be having another baby, (almost here). She, who usually asks why I am crying at a TV commercial or a Christmas card, is now crying herself. She understands, but has other questions.
We lay next to each other in bed day after day.
“There is more room in all our hearts?” “Yes, there is.”
“Where did she come from?” “Heaven.”
“How did she get there?” “By the love of your mommy and daddy.”
“How big is she now?” I explain the miraculous growth.
“She has toenails” or “3 ½ lbs and
“When will she be here?” “Almost here.”
My Motherhood is …having four children and still wanting more. When the thought that I might not have another child brought me to tears because the longing I had in my heart, to have and to hold, and to build upon my family, knowing what sweetness and blessings come from another being that joins you and yours would not cease, I couldn’t imagine giving up.