Thursday, April 26, 2012

Nesting....a new Little will be here soon

I went to the Doctors having contractions 10 minutes apart when standing and 20 minutes while lying down...thus false labor. I knew I wasn't in actual labor as I remember the PAIN that is associated with that, but I also know that I was very uncomfortable and couldn't do much on my feet without feeling so much pressure...this time in my abdomen and was hoping they would give me something to relax my uterine muscles, as this is what they did when I was pregnant with Little J.

I called the advice nurse and they suggested I come into Labor and Delivery, just to make sure nothing was happening. I hate going to the hospital knowing I will be coming home empty handed. Well, they confirmed my contractions and that I was 50% effaced..Twiddle Dee Dee...but my cervix was closed and the baby's head is down.
I was sent home to stay off my feet and take Tylenol for comfort. Not knowing when the baby will actually come makes me quite anxious.

4 days now I am still having contractions and trying to occupy myself. I am worried that I will just keep telling myself this is nothing like I did with Little J and wait until I am folding over with pain, then barely make it to the hospital where I delivered without out a doctor in about 15 minutes. Back then the drive to the hospital was 10 minutes, now it is almost an hour. Relax...relax...I tell myself and dive into crafty fits.

I made 2 pillows for the baby, a couple of penguins, a bumper for the crib, a banner, and a mobile. 
 I made little flags to match the banner in her room that is hanging on the wall above her bed.

 I made this little penguin out of one of Mr. D's work shirts.

 More little penquins.....This baby has very happy feet!!
 A bumper with ribbon ties.

 I made this little birdie mobile from scrapbook paper, ribbon and an embroidery hoop.
Then, as if I didn't make enough things, I decided to make a pillow for a friend who is having her first baby, a boy. I am using her baby shower invitation as a template for the design.  I made a photo copy in black and white and enlarged it, so I could cut out these mustaches. I am using the color in fleece that matched the invitation.

I hand stitched...Welcome.....Little......Man..... in between each one. I can't find the picture....I'll add if I find it.

Nesting....I think that's what they call it.....Nesting...... awwweeeesooomeee!!

Soon enough a new Little will be here.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

GBG our beloved father and grandfather

Little J with Grandpa a weekend with the boys at Black Chasm. 

It was slightly overcast as I drove to the cemetery that I often pass by.  Usually, I whisper a silent ‘hello, I love you’ in the direction of the entrance.  Just ten minutes from my house and close to the new Costco that I frequent. I am constantly reminded of the loved one who lay at rest there.  I was compelled to drive straight there, no other agenda.  I got out of the car, it was a little breezy but not cold.  I walked; passing others’ loved ones and then came to the beautiful tree, whose branches shade the resting spot of our beloved father and grandfather. I like to think that little birds perch on those branches and sing.  He loved bird watching, one year we bought him binoculars and a bird book.  I wonder if he sees birds now, probably, beautiful ones that I can’t even imagine.  I knelt down and swept the leaves and dirt off the marker, my fingernails filling with the dirt.  I wished I had brought something to place there. I squatted for a little bit and read the headstone, his name, and an inscription of forever love and then my Minlaws name with birthdate and an empty spot.  It peaked my tears and I stood up and then said in my mind, “We are going to have a baby soon…you probably already know that.”  My eyes began to water…  “Mister D is receiving his promotion next week, wish you could be there.  We miss you.”  My tears now flowing down my cheeks, my now, dirty hands wiping them away.  I was not expecting to feel so much.  I walked back to my car in tears my stomach hardening with a contraction.

I know that it is only his body that is there.  I know that I can talk to him or the spirit of him without out being there but I wanted to be close.  I think I was hoping for some kind of inspiration of what to name this baby or how to make Mister D’s promotion celebration special.  I have found myself talking to him from time to time when I am concerned about family matters and it comforts me much like when I pray to my Father in Heaven.
Little reminders of his presence appear in his son, my husband. Mannerisms and deeds, I like to acknowledge them often. While dating my husband I was so impressed by my Finlaw's care for others and  the respect he had for his wife. My husband to be was so much like his father and I knew I would be in good hands and that our future children would have a great dad.
Last week, Little G had a back to school night. She shared a holiday book she made.  January, February, March…this month had a shamrock cut out with four leaves.  Her sweet handwriting transcribed in each leaf a wish.

I wish for…
My mom to have her baby…
 A pony…
 My grandpa to still be alive.

I forgot the last one as my mind started to wander.  I am so glad that my daughter knew him even if for a short time.  She was lucky enough to be called his “Missy Missy”.

This reminds me how important our family is to us and that we need to embrace them, love them, and accept them everyday.
This also reminds me that I am making an impression on my family  that will stay with them when I am gone.  What do I want them to remember.?  

I woke up in the middle of the night thinking  about this. I felt the need to write about this and once again, my eyes filled up with tears, Mister asleep beside me.  I gently touched his hand and thought I want him to always know how much I love him and my children. That I live to love them.

Monday, April 16, 2012

A making a little room for a new little

 There is just a little room for the Intial of the baby and a picture above the crib.
          Little G's corner. Grandpa put up shelves to store her treasures.          
 Her doll house is all set up for her little family. A chalk door for her drawings.
  To the right, we made a bird mobile out of  scrap paper, ribbons and a quilt loop.

 I want to hang a bird house just above the mirrors and paint a little verse...
"There is beauty
        all around..."

She loves to work in the garden and is learning how to grow roses, cabbage and
"magic" beans. 

Also, we took old glass candy dishes and put her jewelry in them...she can see  her rings, braclets and necklaces easily.

A dear friend of mine painted the dresser to match the sign I have between the crib and bed.
This was used when Little G was a baby.
 For a touch of whimsy I hung Little G's favorite color by number. Mosely, named after her kitty who is no longer with us is spotlighted by the window as you look onto the lilac tree outside.

 This is Little G's bed, that used to be her Aunties.  She likes to keep her art work and pictures close by. I wanted to keep them all together... I painted the border of a cork board pink and put it by her bed. She can add things or take away as she pleases.

Here is an up close picture of the mobile. 
 I made a pillow and applied a little birdie on it awhile ago. I used this same material in the flag banner. I made the banner using scraps of material...some are even from old work shirts...Mister D's light blue one and my pink pinned striped one and an extra  shabby chic sheet.

   I really wanted a diaper depot to hold all the diaper changing items...Until I thought of this... an old bicycle basket tied with ribbon...all the goodies inside. Much better than the plastic one at the store don't you think.?
So, that is it...pretty much. Other than the little one who will nest here. I need to find a 5 by 8 throw rug...I would love to make a rag rug using the same fabric as the banner.        It would look cute, but I don't think it would be that comfortable
 for the baby to play on.

Just six weeks away....but could be sooner!
I just can't keep my eyes open.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

My Mister and Me

Mazzy Star Concert April 7, 2012

Amongst many things, Mister D loves music.
When we were dating, he introduced me to some of his favorite bands.  Some of the music I heard before, but never knew the details as he did.  I could not remember the name of songs or the name of the band that went with it. 
   I grew up listening to my parents’ music.  I would listen to their records repeatedly. The Bee Gees, The Mandrell Sisters, Kenny Rogers, Dolly Parton, Barry Manilow, the Beatles to name a few. You get it...I was a music nerd and not in a good way. Good thing music knowledge was not a criteria for dating.
I would come to love my Mister D’s choice in music.  He was very discerning, a real aficionado, I thought.  He knew what he liked. and why.
  He not only knew the name of the song and the band, but also all the facts of each of the individuals in the band and how they got their start. 
Just as in real life how he cared for peoples individual needs and paid close attention to detail. He took the time for those he listened to day after day.

His love of music would make wonderful moments of romance over the years to follow. (I would like to mention that Mister D can sing.  Although he would never admit it or share it very often. He would sing for me occasionally and it was beautiful.)  One of his favorite bands, which soon became one of mine, was Mazzy Star.  There was one song in particular that we both liked very much and would soon be OUR song.  It was entitled Fade in to You.  We would dance in slow circles in the living room, bedroom, and kitchen. We would lounge in bed listening to the fuzzy guitar sounds, jingles of the tambourine and folksy compositions…I am not sure any other way of describing it…probably very different than he would.  Anyhow, I found it very relaxing and romantic.
Later, when I was expecting our first child, and experiencing contractions he pulled me close and began swaying softly back and forth in the small confined labor and delivery room,   he hummed a melody in my ear.  I was in heaven. 
Years would pass, our beloved band broke up but the songs remained
and we were still together listening to them.

Expecting our third child, Mister D. read that the band decided to reunite and they were going to be playing at a small venue only an hour away.  This was also just days before his birthday.  He quickly bought tickets for us and we waited in anticipation.  As the day came closer, I was not getting around nearly as well, having some issues with my pregnant body.  I was not sure if I should go.  I thought that maybe he should take Little G instead.  He said that he wanted me to go even if we could only stay a half hour and he would do everything in his power to make me comfortable.
  I got all dressed up, curled my hair, put on makeup and a special belt with a bow, just above my round belly.  Little G came in and asked why I was getting all dressed.  “A special occasion. Daddy and I are going on a date.”  I told her.  Mister D washed his convertible and got a haircut.  Special indeed!
We went to an early dinner at the best restaurant in town and then headed to Sacramento, about an hour away. We arrived at 6:30. The place was small and intimate.  Standing room only. We found a small table next to a column and claimed it for our own.  There were two opening acts before Mazzy Star would perform and my feet were swollen.  I am glad I put my flip-flops in my purse at the last minute.  Mister D helped me to a sitting position on the little table and I adjusted and readjusted until it was time for the main act.  I did not think I was going to make it much longer and was worried that we would have to leave early.
Almost ten o’clock and Hope Sandavol took the stage.
I rested my head on my Mister D’s chest, he smelt so good.  I listened to the gentle sound of familiarity and it soothed my aches.
7 songs later and I couldn’t sit anymore and knew it was time to go.
I felt bad, when I told him we needed to go,  but he already  knew and was waiting for me to say something. He told me he was thankful that we got to stay for as long as we did.  I told him I needed to go to the bathroom first and he followed and waited just outside the doors.  Just as I entered the stall, OUR song started to play.  I wobbled as fast as I could and found him about 15 feet away from the ban! The side of the stage was completely open to us.  He pulled me close to him and we danced to our song, Fade in to Me. He whispered in my ear that he could not believe that this was a better spot than we had been in all night long and we would not have been so close at that very moment if I had not asked to leave.  We danced to OUR song.  It was so romantic and a million memories came flowing into my head.
We had a little kiss right there and the song was over.
Just before we left, he bought two t-shirts one for him and one he promised Little G. He bought me a tote bag and hand in hand, we left for home.
A few days later I overheard Mister D telling his little sister about our date with Mazzy Star and listened to him recall how the night ended and how we held each other and danced softly at the side of the stage.  This truly gave my heart a flutter.
I love this man of mine and the music he brings into my life.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

reading instead of writing...

Since I have been, sedentary with this pregnancy, for reasons I'd rather not discuss. Let's just say I am having a really hard time getting around as my body is not a young and strong as it was in my 20's and 30's.  I am experiencing pain in the most private of areas because of engorging veins. Enough said.

Thus, I have been home and in bed mostly for the last month or so, and I have about 7 weeks to go. I am so glad I took my sisters advice and put the nursery together early.
Little G and I finished the baby's mobile and flag banner and we are trying to sew a few stuff penguins, as this baby has a little nickname....happy feet! So busy kicking all the time.

This brings me to my writing, which I haven't done that much of and when I have it has been handwritten. So, what have I been doing with all my down time.... reading!

I have read:

The Help by Kathryn Stockett
The Shack by Wm. Paul Young
The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins
Extremely Close and Incredibly Loud by Jonathan Safran Foer
The Book of Mormon another testament of Jesus Christ (reading this with Little G)
and currently...
The Memory  keeper's daughter by Kim Edwards
and Nie Nie....or should I say Stephanie Nielson's new book, Heaven is Here.

I can't remember the last time I read so much in such a short length of time. I can't get enough though! Each author has such a unique story to tell and in such a different way.
I really liked them all. The Shack took the longest, It was a little hard to digest.
The last of the series in the Hunger Games lost my attention half way through and didn't end as I would have liked but the first one I read in 8 days.  This might seem like a long time to others, but I am a slow reader and only read for about 30 minutes at a time....because I almost always (ha ha) fall asleep. Plus I still have motherly and wifely duties to attend.

I hope that I  will TYPE my handwritten stories so that I can post them. I really want to be better at posting, but I also have to be realistic with a new baby coming it just might be a while.  I don't know if anyone really cares about what I am writing. I do know however, that this is a great way to keep my memories in tact and share with my immediate family and close friends.

I posted a new blog earlier this morning because the memories had to be preserved and I have another wonderful memory to write about, A date night with my Mister D. I just have to get that on paper before the feelings leave my thoughts...unfortunately this is all I have do today and I am not very comfortable sitting in bed with my "kitty" on my once again I will hand write it and then type it later.

Everyone is doing well.
My son...Little J is doing very well in school and received a spot on the honor roll.
Little G entered a poem contest for the entire school district and came in as a finalist.
I will post her poem when we get it back from the Superintendent of Schools.
Big Little is almost done with her first year in college and thinks she want to be a teacher.
My Biggest Little is still far from home and making plans to visit when the baby comes.
My Mister D has an interview for a promotion next Thursday....Yippeeee!!

I am blessed with so much and feel loved ...who could ask for more.

I hope, my dear friends...wherever you may be, that you might have joy.

This was taken in January!
I am afraid to post  a current picture, but I will soon, promise!

Mary May.....the toothfairy

"Little G"  loves the tooth fairy...well, all fairies.
Yes, we encourage this. 
It is very innocent and loving. 
It started long before the tooth fairy.
This personal interaction with the creative imagination,
between mother, father and child.

About  2 years ago....

She dared to think that she might get to see or know the fairy
that had been picking up her teeth and leaving a few coins or dollar bills.
A little tooth wrapped gently in tissue,
or in a special purple glittered tooth shaped box given by her dentist,
or sometimes it was just placed in a plastic snack baggy for protection.
 Always protected.
It was pushed under her pillow and a dream would follow along,
 off to the land of  fairies and "what if".
Then one day she took the chance and sent along a little note...
what if?

Dear toothfairy,
What do you look like? This is what I look like.
(she drew a picture of herself.)

I am just a little bigger than your tooth. I can't draw very well.
But, this is me. (There was a picture.)
P.S. I like your tooth. Brush often and smile lots!

This was received with such joy and excitement she couldn't keep it to herself. She read it to her mom and dad and sisters and brother, and cousins and friends and anyone that came to visit. Then, the next time and the next a note was written. Some were folded tightly, some cut out intricately and some just torn pieces of paper. Once she sent a small crown from her Polly Pocket collection as a gift of thanks, not just for coins or the responses, but for friendship.
Dear toothfairy,
Where do you live? What is your favorite color?

I live in the stars.  I like the color pearly white and things that sparkle.
Just like your tooth. Keep brushing your teeth.
The toothfairy

Dear toothfairy.
What is your favorite thing to do? Ware do you go to get food?
From Rebecca
P.S. My birthday was on May 6th.

I forgot to give this back to you last time.
(a little tooth shaped box the tooth was stored in.)
My favorite thing to do is make perfume. I get my food from a garden. I saw that you have a garden.
(Heart) The toothfairy

I am missing  the next note where she asks the fairy's name. I tried to be clever.   I tell her Mary.
Mary the Fairy.
 I also wrote that I am  good friends with her mom's tooth fairy, Kelly. This was my make believe name when I was little and would play house, I couldn't resist.

Just after this is when the crown would be placed under the soft pillow, but  it was ignored by the fairy. Not on purpose but because there wasn't a lost tooth  for the prompting. She couldn't understand why it was not retrieved.  A tooth must be the key to unlock our world to theirs, I told her.
  A tooth was not present and no prospects were found. She would have to wait.

Dear Mary,
I have not lost a tooth in a long time. Is there a fairy kingdom and is there a fairy queen or king?  How is Kelly? What have you been doing these days? Why can't I see you is my real question?
from Gracie
(enclosed is the crown)

Rebecca...Gracie...                   2-2012
It has been a long time since you lost a tooth!
It will probably be even longer until you lose another one.
Keep brushing your teeth and floss them too!
We aren't suppose to talk about the fairy kingdom
 other than it is located up in the sky and hidden in a star. (star)
I must say, there are many kings and queens.
 Kelly is one. She has been around long enough to collect 1000 teeth.
That is what it takes to be a king or queen. I only have 400 so far.
I have been busy making boxes for my tooth collection.
Yours are decorated with glitter.
You can't see me because it's magic.
Just like when you don't believe in me, I won't show up.
Don't stop believing.
You are my friend.
I want to see your next tooth and add it to my collection.
(heart) Love, Fairy Mary
P.S. Thank you very much for the crown, even though I am not a queen yet, I feel like a princess when I put it on.

A new small pink box shaped like a treasure chest was given at the dentist office for a special tooth that "fell out" while she was getting sealants on her back teeth.  The tooth had been loose for 3 weeks. She kept "baby-ing" it, pushing it back into place when it would move forward. I quietly asked if they could pull it while they we working around it.  They showed her the tooth while still in her relaxed state of nitrixoxide.
She said, "yay, my tooth fell out!
 I winked at the hygenist and she winked back.
When we left she called her dad, grandma and both sisters to tell them the news.
 She told her brother after school and quickly set off to write her note.
Just before bed she reminded her dad to keep a window open for the fairy to enter.
She ever so softly put the treasure chest and note shaped with a point, like an arrow, under her pillow and ly her head ready for sleep.

(writtten on the top)
to: Mary
Hi Mary, How are you? I have one question how old are you and how are fairys born and when is your birthday?  Did it take long for this tooth to come out? You know you can call me gracie or rebecca  your choice.
P.S. My grandma says hi.
(written on the bottom)
from :Rebecca
to: Mary

Dear Rebecca -Gracie
I like both those names. (heart)
I'm not sure if I know your Grandma, say hello.  What is her name.
I am doing fine, thank you for asking.
How are you doing?
That tooth had a little anchor on it. It liked being with you.
I will put it in a special place, just for you, make a garland crown for it and put it on a pedestal. (a picture of what that would look like was drawn with arrows indicating the anchor, the garland and the pedestal.)

You asked me, "How old am I?" Hmm, that's hard to tell.
I am aged by the amount of teeth I have collected. So, I suppose, I am 430.
You asked, "How was I born?"  Very much  like you. I have a mother and father. My mom said I was a very tiny baby fairy. She could hold me on her finger, but she rarely did because she didn't want to lose me. She put me in a pocket near her heart. You also asked, "What is my birthday?"
My birthday is in May, which is why my middle name is May.
.....Mary May.
Hope you keep flossing and making your teeth "squeaky" clean!
You have a beautiful smile.
(heart) Mary Fairy

I can't wait for her to read the note when she wakes up. The light in her eyes.
The love and hope that she holds in her heart...longing for more.

I love these interactions with my little one, but I must say that I am not really the fairy...of course I am not a fairy. I can not take credit for all of this. 
Mister D is the one who opens the window for the fairy to come in...
 and collects the note...
 and the teeth...
 puts the coins or bills under her pillow.

He loves reading the little innocent.
Early this morning about 2:30, he woke and sweetly pulled the treasure box and note from underneath his little sleeping child and replaced it,
this timewith the largest bill she will receive . $5.00. 
He knew of the anxiety that came with getting her sealants done the day before and the baby-ing of the loose tooth and wanted to make up for it all.
"OK, the toothfairy came. I put the note in my sock drawer." He said to me softly when he came back to bed. 
This warmed my heart.
Later when it was time to wake up to get ready,
he read the letter and put it back in his drawer.
Before he left he told me how sweet it was.
About an hour later he called me from work,
taking time from his busy schedule
to see if I had read it yet.
I told him that I didn't have a change yet. 
 I just got home from taking the "Littles" to school.
Now was the moment.

  I went to his dresser and opened the drawer, 
amongst his socks was the letter and the little treasure box.

I read it and wrote back,
took a picture of it and sent it via text to him.

I thought... I really need to write about this.
This is something to remember always.

This is something I want my little one to do for her little ones someday.

Oh, the sweetness and innocence of childhood.
Oh, the love my Mister has for his little ones.
This is why I encourage fairies!
To create more ways to share moments!

Cheers to all the faires...
Tooth fairies, Paper Hole Punch fairies, Bird fairies, Birthday fairies...
and their friends...
Elves, Leprechauns, Easter bunnies, Santa reindeer
 and Santa Claus, of course. 
 Am I missing any?
Please let me know!

(This summer I think we will make a fairy garden.)
Precious and priceless!