Friday, June 22, 2012

hearts grow w each new Little

Amazing how  our hearts grow with each new child that joins our family.

Somehow, we can do everything we need to.
Somehow there is just enough time,
just enough patience,
and just enough love to take care of every one's needs.

'Little G wanted to start a blog when her baby sister came.

She fondly calls her little sis, "Baby Cakes".

 I added her blog to my profile since she doesn't have an email.
It's entitled GiGi & Baby Cakes!  here is the link:
She has also had a daddy daughter date and several play dates with cousins and friends and her big sisters. I painted her nails and we had a picnic in bed. We want to make sure she feels special. Being the baby for 8 years and then having a new little take your place can be a little sad. I loved my time alone with Little G when everyone was in school we would have the day to ourselves, playing, talking, shopping and cleaning. She has such a special place in my heart.

Recently, Little J had a 3 day, 12 mile hiking trip with his scout troop. Mister took him to Big 5 to buy freeze dry meals and camping gear. He had  a camera but forgot to take" I was too busy having fun, mom." Well, that's good...I'll have to ask the adults next time. ;)
He's starting to enjoy his scouts and youth group at church. He will attend camp for a week next month. I am so proud of him.  It takes him a while to get used to new things. I just love his sweet, calm nature. When he was a young baby/toddler we would dance and bake together. We would make pizza and cookies. He loved to dance and play silly games with me. He was such a happy, smiling baby. We did so many things together when his big sisters were at school. He was so well behaved, I could take him anywhere and he wouldn't touch anything or he would stay seated when necessary and just watch. He is still good at that. He is easily entertained by watching others play.

He is very quiet about his feelings and hasn't been all over the baby like Little G, but he looks at her with such love and tenderness. He has been such a big helper. He's done all the laundry, takes out the trash, unloads the dishwasher, feeds the animals and just about anything I ask. He is always eager to please. I just love my little man.

Big Little....oh so sweet.  I just love her. She was very helpful while I was pregnant and even took me to the hospital when I was having some concerns. She was always on call...and ready and excited. (It was sad that when I actually had little Lou, she had strep throat and couldn't be there.) She was very interested in all that comes with being pregnant and being a mom. She painted my toenails when I could no longer bend to reach them and would come over and just sit with me, watch TV and eat snacks when I was on bed rest. She would bring me smoothies and little treats. She is very thoughtful and compassionate.
            Thinking back to when she was little I remember taking her to the park frequently and the library. Unfortunately, I had to work so, I didn't have the same day to day playtime as I do with my Littles now. But on the weekends we always had something planned. We went to the foothills; fishing, camping, metal detecting, gold panning and sight seeing. We attended local carnivals and play areas. There was always an adventure.  She had a lot of energy and kept me busy.  She was the baby for 6 years before Little J was born. I just love her. 

 My pumpkin princess, Biggest Little, My first born, she wasn't so sure about me having another Little when she first found out and it made me a little sad. I think she thought that maybe someone would get left out or replaced. I think she was not sure there was enough to go around. She was also concerned that she would not get to know this Little, since she was far away doing her own thing now.  She decided to move home just before our Littlest was born. We are so happy that she lives closer to the family, so she can feel more of our love not just hear it or read it. Being the oldest of 5 is no easy task, she feels a little burdened, but I think she see something else, something miraculous..... there is enough love and there is more love..

She has always been very responsible and mature. She has always been a big help. She tends to be a thinker and sometimes  thinks too much. She analyzes things, because of this she also internalizes things, so when she feels, she feels deeply. She want to make everyone happy and sometimes she forgets about herself because there ARE a Lot of OTHERS around{!}. She is learning this, to love herself first to love others more.
I think when you become a mother you learn this very quickly.

When she was younger she was happy with everyone. She would talk to anyone, go to anyone. She always had her thumbs up! Good times here. She was easy to please and not picky.  I worked full time and she stayed with her Grandma for a while, while I worked. They developed a great bond. When we moved to Arizona, before I started working again, we would go to the park and the library. I signed her up for a preschool co-op and we met some really nice people. When I went back to work one of the ladies did daycare in her home and that is where she spent her days.....lots of them crafting, as the babysitter was an artist with 2 of her own children. It was fun, but I now know how hard this must have been and I feel bad that I put work before my child. I have always felt close to my Littles but, I wish I had the time to do over again to spend all her days at home like I am now. {I am sorry Biggest Little}  I think she sees through the love of all the Littles that I love my family deeply and gave her what I could in the circumstances that I was under. I love her. I love all of them.

I have 20 years experience being a mom now. I hope to get it right in the next 20.
Loving every minute of it.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Little Lou - day 6

After 6 days of having our Little Lou home and everything going well, she stopped eating, she was sucking and trying but couldn't get enough. I realized this after a whole day with her at my breast, one side to the other, non stop, she had only wet one diaper. She was becoming agitated while nursing, bless her heart she was trying so hard. I thought maybe it was my milk supply.

I had a friend come over, who works in the Wellness Center at Kaiser, where the lactation consultant center is located. She stayed with me for 2 hours trying to see what was wrong. Little Lou was actively trying to nurse, but with my now enlarged breasts, it was getting even harder. We tried all the normal things, expressing and such, and still no results.  Finally, I had to call the advice nurse and since she didn't have a fever they advised me to give her some supplement formula. Luckily, I had some on hand, My visiting teacher had given me some cans of formula and some bottles. I really didn't think that I would ever use them and put them in the closet just in case. I am so glad it was there, as it was late at night, and living so far out the closest 24hour store was about a 40 minute round trip.

Little Lou took it right gently streamed into her mouth, without much work.   I was so emotional as I fed my little one with a bottle. I breastfeed all my babies and the thought of not doing that with this, my last little really made me sad. Clearly she was happy to have this nourishment and so i was happy for that. She was so tired from all the energy it took all day to nurse, and then with a full tummy slept for 3 hours.

The next day I went to the Wellness Center with my friend. We were there for several hours with no luck of sufficient sucking.  Little Lou started to cry and that is when the nurse noticed that something seemed wrong with her tongue and asked me if any other of my children were tongue tied. I had never heard of that. She said her tongue was having a hard time going to one side and something about,  submucusal. I didn't really know what she was talking about, but  the day before when she cried with her mouth opened really wide, I noticed something that looked a little odd but didn't think to much about it. Big Little also said she noticed it. It looked like the side of her tongue was curled up and had two layers with the bottom one coming up over the top and the bottom of her mouth lifted up with it. We were referred to the Ears Nose and Throat Doctor, but until then we would have to feed her with a bottle with a special tube connected to my finger. While I did this I would need to protect my milk supply by pumping.

The 3 hour cycle of,
1st hour -wake baby, change baby diaper, feed baby 40 minutes,
2nd hour - pump 20 minutes, store and label breast milk and clean all items for next use.
3rd hour - sleep  (this was usually more of a 30 minute nap by the time I feel asleep).

Mister D couldn't take time off from work and so the task was mine, but  I had my plan and the greatest desire to be able to nurse. If I didn't pump, my supply would be depleted. So the 3 hour cycle began.
I put Little Lou in her pram and strolled her back and forth from living room to feed her,  kitchen to clean up, and bedroom to sleep. I continued this routine for 3 days. That third night I had to have Mister D feed and do two clean up cycles so I could sleep an hour. Her sucking was getting stronger and her daddy could feel it! Little G was keeping track of her many BM's (bowel movements), how many wet. We needed 3 BM's and at least 6 wet. We were starting to hit our marks.

After the third day, my Mister couldn't see how I could keep this up, and suggested I just bottle feed.
I don't blame him. I cried over the chicken that I wanted to eat, the messy house, and then just because I had a baby, and I was tired, and my hormones were crazy. Not breastfeeding, was not an option, 'if I could just make it to Friday', I'd tell myself, and when I'd feel like crying, I'd tell myself... 'it's OK, it's OK, you can do this.'

We decided to give Little Lou a healing blessing, so her uncle Rog and her daddy, my Mister, administered a blessing of health. They prayed that she would gain the strength she needed and that her mouth would be strong.

We met with the E.N.T., Dr. Chin, the next day and he said her mouth looked fine. He said her mouth was just a little immature and to try and breastfeed again. Next we met with the Lactation Consultant and her weight did increase but still not quite up to where she needed to be and wanted me to continue the 3 hour cycle for 2 more days, but instead of feeding with tube and finger, nurse at the breast for 40 minutes and if she is still hungry give supplement and pump.
I did this for 1 day and then the next day she seemed full after breastfeeding so I didn't need to supplement, but I pumped this one time just in case.  The next time she breastfeed she was satisfied and I didn't pump and then we went back to the doctor and she had gained 2 ounces. If she kept that up then she would be on track. 2 days later, another appointment and she was finally at her birth weight, 6.5 lbs.

I am writing this for memory sake, and for her, Little Lou. It is amazing how little these sweet spirits come to us in these amazing bodies. So small, so delicate. I can't believe she was in my stomach just 3 weeks ago. She is so sweet, smells like heaven and looks like an angel. I am so happy.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Little Lou is here!

 Little Lou 1 hour old
 Daddy and Little Lou
 The family, minus Little Big; she has strep throat.
 Getting ready to go home.
LOOK at that hair!
 Mommy and Little Lou - hands
Just the girls at home day 3

The newest little is finally here!
She is beautiful!
 She is sweet!
She is sleepy, hungry and in need of a diaper change. 
 All of her siblings are in love with her. 
Daddy and I are filled with joy.
We are so thankful for this little one.
 She is healthy and has a calmness to her.
Thank you Heavenly Father for this marvelous gift.